July 09, 2019

We’re not saying they did or didn’t. We’re just saying that IF they did, it shouldn’t be a problem. Here’s why these seven presidents should be given the green light for enjoying some green:

  • George Washington — The Father of our Country can be the cool dad who’s gotten really into herb lately. Also if he’ll lead a war over tea, maybe he needs to chill a bit.
  • William Taft — We’d finally have an answer to one of the biggest secrets in American history, and that’s why our fattest president was just so fat. One word: munchies.
  • Barack Obama — killed Bin Laden. Dude gets a pass.
  • Abraham Lincoln — He fought to keep the country from falling apart, so imagine what he’d do to keep a joint from falling apart. Four scores and seven hits ago, he’s the friend to keep us on track when it seems like we just can’t anymore.
  • Rutherford Hayes — Ol’ Rutherford here thought alcohol was evil and only served lemonade at the White House. Keeping the gold standard AND living with a name like Rutherford, all without booze? Man’s got to let off some steam somehow.
  • Teddy Roosevelt — If he spent more time smoking grass instead of hiding in it, maybe he would’ve spent less time on big game hunts. Also he passed the Pure Food and Drug Act, making all future munchies that much safer to enjoy.
  • John F. Kennedy — Before Star Trek, before the internet, before even color TV, JFK was literally shooting for the moon. Imagine where we’d be now if you’d put this guy in a room with some weed and a dream journal.

If these presidents deserve to blaze, then they deserve some top-notch chronic. Teddy Roosevelt shouldn’t be wheezing on a bong – man had asthma, don’t make it worse for him. And do you want to set Washington’s wooden teeth on fire with a poorly rolled blunt? That’s even more awful than sticking a vape pen in JFK’s mouth – those things can explode, and hasn’t that head of his been through enough? That’s why these presidents would only get a pass if they smoked from the Freeze Pipe – a unique bowl that includes a nontoxic cooling gel.

This gel instantly cools the weed by over 300 degrees as you inhale it, resulting in a smooth, clean, and easy toke. You get a great hit with no burn in your lungs, giving you the Presidential Treatment for pot. Summers have never been cooler, and election season have never been, well, more dope, all thanks to the revolutionary Freeze Pipe. Ask not what your hash can do for you; ask what you can do for your hash. Enjoy the best cannabis experience with the Freeze Pipe.